Lesson 3: Personal Transformation: Influence

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Lesson Overview

Daily Reading Schedule:

Thursday: 2 Chronicles 33:1-23

Friday: Proverbs 1:10-19

Saturday: Proverbs 2:10-22

Sunday: Psalms 1:1-6

Monday: Hebrews 10:22-25

Tuesday: 1 John 2:15-17

2 Corinthians 6:14-16: Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. We influence others, but other people also infl uence us. Influence can be as overt as being persuaded to do something right or wrong or as subtle as deve loping one’s self-image based on Hollywood stars. We must filter out side influences, but we must be mindful that our actions will influence others. Influence of Friends One of our strongest influences is our friends. The friends we choose will help us draw closer to God or go farther away from Him. There are good examples like Cornelius in Acts 10 who invited his friends to hear the gospel. There are bad examples like the friends of Rehoboam, in 2 Chronicles 10, who gave Rehoboam bad advice which cost him most of the kingdom. Proverbs 12:26 and 22:24-25 warn us to choose our friends carefully since the wicked can lead us astray. Most people are fa miliar with 1 Corinthians 15:33 : “Evil company corrupts good habits.” When our closest friends are people who do not share our faith, priorities, and principles, we create the potenti al for many conflicts and unnecessary tests of our faith. We should not abandon friendships with non-Christia ns but should make our closest companions (who are in greater positions of influence) those who share our values and priorities. Some have lost their faith by associating with very worldly people thinking, “I will change them.” However, it is often the child of God who is changed, and usually for the worse. Paul prefaces his “evil companions” warning of 1 Corinthians 15:33 with “Do not be deceived.” It is easy for us to deceive ourselves and think that others cannot corrupt us. Good friends can greatly strengthen us. Proverb s 27:17 teaches that good friends can improve one another as iron sharpening ir on. We should choose our closes t friends from th e children of God. They understand the trials that we face, the importance of service to God, and the principles that guide our lives. By our mutual associations , we can encourage one another to do what is right, Hebrews 10:24-25. We will discuss this in detail in a later chapter. Influence of a Spouse The influence of a spouse is one of the strongest influences. The Bible tells of married couples like Aquila and Pricilla who we re co-workers in the Lord. We can also read of people like Jezebel and Solomon’s wives who led their sp ouses away from God. If you are unmarried, you need to choose carefully the person you will marry because the decision will have eternal consequences. Paul urged the widows to marry “in the Lord,” 1 Corinthians 7:39. I believe that

“in the Lord ” means more than one who is simply baptized but describes someone truly dedicated to God. A faithful companion can encourage us to do what is right if we are struggling, can provide godly advice when we are making decisions, and will share godly goals for the family. One who does not share all these goals can challenge our decisions on a regular basis and may prevent one from serving God properly. Many Christians have been lost because they married someone “they thought they could change” only to give up the fight for what is right in order to have peace in the home. Influence of Parents The influence of parents is also very strong. Godly parents can di rect a child into a right path from which he will not stray. However, parent s who only profess Christ but do not truly live according to His principles can turn their ch ildren from the Lord. We can study about godly men like David whose sinful actions caused rebe llion among his children. There were men like Manasseh (2 Chronicles 33) who lived wickedly then repented but lost their children due to their wickedness. Parents influence their children’s vi ew of the world, work, other family members, and the church. Some children become unfaithful to the dismay of the parents. The parents however were sporadic in their attendance, al lowed the children to miss church for social and sporting events, allowed them to watch inappropriate things on T.V. and movies, and talked down the preacher, the elders, and the other members on the way hom e from church services. Is it any wonder that the children had no desire to become Christians? In a Truth Magazine the following survey results appeared: The Boulevard church of Christ, in Baton Rouge, La., engaged in a thorough study of the problem in their congregation: They were losing many of their young people. In fact, they had been losing 38% of their young people and in one year, the figure was as high as 73%. Why? ♦ They found that when both parents were faithful and active 93% of their children remained faithful. ♦ Where only one parent was active and faithful, 74% continued the Christian life. ♦ Where parents were reasonably faithful but inactive in the Lord’s work, 53% continued their relationship with the Lord. ♦ Where the parents only attended Bible classes occasionally only 6% of the children remained faithful. We must be alert to the many conscious and unconscious things we do that influence our children. We show them priorities and princi ples and their proper use. If we do not teach them how to make proper decisions and how to discern right from wrong, who will? Godly parents must teach their children according to the principles of Deuteronomy 6;6-9:

“And these words which I command you today shal l be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and s hall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you ri se up. You shall bind th em as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 4:9 also stresses this responsibility to the grandparents. We can see the grandparent’s role when they are the primary caregiver, but it is great when godly grandparents reinforce the teachi ng of godly parents. It is wonderful to see several generations of a family worshipping together. Sometimes godly advice shunned when given by a parent is soberly accepted when a godly grandparent, from years of experience and knowledge of the word of God, teaches the child. Parents must take time to teach Bible stories, the message of salvation, a nd share their own faith with their children. Ch ildren should see genuine love and dedication between the parents. Parents must live daily sermons on hone sty, righteousness, forgiveness, humbleness, love, purity, and good works. Verbal lessons will are worthless if the children cannot see the lessons live in the parents’ lives. Influence of Entertainment Although we may not realize it, the things that entertain us can greatly influence us. Their influence is more subtle, like the gradual erosion of a rock by rain, wind, and heat. Yet, gradually the entertainment industry can shape our minds. Many women have poor self-esteem because they cannot look like T.V. stars or models. However, the stars and models do not look perfect either! We see th e final product, filtered by editing rooms and touch up artists. There are no perfect looking people and, as the Bible teaches, th ese transitory features must not be our focus anyway, Proverbs 31:30. The media culture will try to c onvince us that we do not have enough. It teaches that unless we have certain labels on our clothes, certain jobs, elite neighborhoods, and the like, that we will be miserable. Therefore, we must continue to shop and continue to buy. Proverbs 27:20 warns us:

“Hell and Destruction are never full; So, the eyes of man are never satisfied.” We must be content, 1 Timothy 6:6. The entertainment industry often teaches values that are not in harmony w ith the Scriptures. The popular culture approves of homosexuality, divor ce for any cause, premarital sexual relations, drunkenness, and other things cont rary to sound doctrin e. We can desensitiz e ourselves to the abhorrent nature of these sins by exposing ourselves to it a little at a time. The gradual assault on our minds can erode our good morals and godly pr inciples. Sadly, we have opened the door for these influences, sat them down in our houses, and even placed them before our children. Positive entertainment, when shared by godly frie nds, can draw people closer together. We can do many activities as Christians. Our joy is enha nced when we can do those activities with our fellow brethren and families. There are some movies and TV shows, though rare, that provide positive lessons and exemplify good principles. So me songs extol the marriage relationship, the parent-child relationship, and doing the right thing. We can properl y use what is good but must shun evil.

Questions for Discussion & Study

What are the Bible principles for choosing friends?
What are the dangers of choosing close friends who are worldly?
How can a spouse influence the other spouse for good? For evil?
What is some evidence of the dangerous influence of entertainment in our lives?
How can popular entertainment influence the church?