Lesson 6: Loving my Brethren in Service

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Lesson Overview

Daily Reading Schedule:

Thursday: Matthew 25:31-46

Friday: Galatians 6:1-10

Saturday: 1 Timothy 6:17-19

Sunday: 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12

Monday: James 1:21-27

Tuesday: 1 Peter 3:8-12

Lead Scripture:
1 John 3:16-18: “By this we know love, because

He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” True love between brethren is expressed in actions. Our love is not to be in what we say but what we do. Love only expressed in words is of little value. How can we love in word only? Is our only interaction with our brethren at the worship service? Pe rhaps we say we love our brethren because we know that we are supposed to but, if our hearts were truly examined, we would only find affection, not true l ove. Love that is in word requires no sacrifice of self, time, or money, demands no action, has no risk of being hurt, and needs no deep involvement with others. Love that is in deed and truth, true love for our brethren, is on a higher level. It requires action on our part, a show of love. Christ showed His l ove, not by shouting His love from heaven, but by dying on the cross. We show our love by our w illingness to die for our brethren. We may say that we have this love but we must demonstrat e it. Consider John’s example: If you say that you would lay your life down for your brethren but you will not give of your possessions to help your needy brother, how does the love of God abide in you? What a profound question! When we think we love our brethren as Christ loved us, we must immedi ately ask how the love of God abides in us. We must prove it. John pictures a brother in need and a fellow Christian locking up his possessions by first locking up his heart. If his heart is not with his brother, the resources he has to fill his needs will not be given. Let us not be narrow regarding the needs of the brother. Perhaps the brother has emotional needs; do we lock up friendship, a word of comf ort, or a sympathetic ear? If our brother has spiritual needs, do we lock up a gentle rebu ke, exhortation from Gods’ word, or a prayer? Maybe the brother does need our worldly goods: a car ride to church or to the doctor, a meal in a time of sickness or bereavement, or financial help. We must unlock our possessions, time, and even ourselves and help our brethren. A ccording to Paul, that is why we work: “Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let hi m labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need,” Ephesians 4:28 (emphasis mine-rfd). We Were Created to be Workers In Ephesians 2:10 Paul wrote th at we are the workmanship of God created for good works. God made us to be His workers and to do His work. We are the recipients of God’s grace and we, in turn, are agents of His grace to others so that others will see the love, grace, and kindness of God through us. We are God’s grace in action for the world. We must demonstrate a love that transcends words. We pray (words) for God to bless others, but we are expected to be a blessing to them by acting for them. When we pray, “B less Sister so-and-so w ho is sick” how do we expect God to bless her? Surely we expect Him to watch over th e doctors and, if it is His will, restore her health. How do we expe ct God to provide comfort, me als, encouragement, and other needs? We must be a blessing, workers with God, to provide blessing to our brethren. If we are God’s workers, it follo ws that God has work for us. As Christians, we must look for needs to meet. Generally, others will not tell us what to do.. It is our responsibility to be involved with our brethren and listen to a nnouncements in order to find ways to be of service. We need to plan our work and do it diligently. The work is for all Christians. Visiting Brethren in Need Visiting the sick, shut-in, and bereaved often come to the top of the list when we think of serving our brethren. It is a noble work to visit brethren in times of need, but it is a work often neglected. The word “visit” as it is used in the scriptures, is not a social call. Consider this illustration: Two good sisters make a call on the afternoon that another sister has returned home from the hospital following surgery. She is confined pretty closely to her bed for several days. She cannot clean the house, cook the meals, wash the dishes, and is havi ng difficulty even watching after the children. These two “visiting” sisters wade through the mussed up living room, past the kitchen where they observe dishes stacked in the sink, and into the bedroom where the weakened post-operative patient is forced to sit through thirty minutes of deligh tful conversation ranging anywhere from the size of kidney stones to a discu ssion of the people they know who never recovered from the same type of operation the sick sister has just had. Then they arise, bid a fond fare well with these grac ious words, “If there is anything we can do just let us know.” Upon that they pivot and proceed once again past the dirty dis hes, the empty TV dinner cartons, the dirty living room to their car where they drive home full of the satisfaction of having visited as the Lord commanded. From Let’s Go Visiting by Wayne Emmons The word “visit” means to have oversight, insp ect, to care for (Young’s, Vine’s). It does not describe a social visit, as is the term’s common use in English. When we visit the sick, we must provide for their needs, see what can be done to ease their burden, and would include a social visit if it were needed. If we ask, “Is there anything we can do?” the so cially acceptable answ er is “No, thank you.” I must make a point here about be ing a recipient of godly service. If you are sick or cannot meet certain needs, do not hesitate to tell your bret hren what they can do to serve you. Part of good works is allowing others to do good works for us . In our country we are so prideful and self- sustaining (we think) that we will not allow others to do things for us. In Christ this should not be. How can I be a worker for God when you will not allow me to serve you? Be gracious and thankful, then repay the deed by serving someone else. Here are some things to consider when visiting others to serve them:

Questions for Discussion & Study

Listen actively and patiently. Give the person your full, undivided attention, allowing them to express their fears, frustrations, or spiritual doubts without interruption or trying to fix their problem.
Read Scripture selectively and prayerfully. Choose a comforting text such as Psalm 23, Psalm 46, or Romans 8.
Pray with them. Ask for their exact prayer requests and pray with them, asking God for physical healing, peace of mind, and sustaining grace.
Help with practical, everyday burdens. Lighten their load by helping with household tasks like mowing the lawn, picking up groceries, taking out the trash, or running a quick errand.
Bring a simple, thoughtful comfort item. Provide a small but needed gift such as a warm blanket, a favorite book, or a fresh meal that respects any dietary restrictions.
Keep visits brief and be mindful of their energy. Respect their physical limitations by monitoring body language and leaving before they become fatigued, ensuring your presence is still a blessing rather than a strain.
Maintain strict confidentiality. Guard their privacy by keeping any medical diagnoses, personal struggles, or private fears strictly confidential, preserving their dignity within the community. You can encourage them to share the information with the preacher or elders or someone who may can help but let it be their news to tell unless they ask you to do this on their behalf.
Just be with them. Sit quietly in the room holding their hand, sharing comfort without feeling pressured to fill every silence with words.
Follow up with them. Extend the care beyond the visit by mailing a handwritten card, leaving a brief text message or voice mail, or calling them to let them you are thinking and praying for them.
Offer transportation help. Drive or go with them to essential medical appointments, therapy sessions, or regular treatments to ease this stress and that of other caregivers.
Speak words of steadfast hope. Remind them of the enduring promises of God, His loving grace, and eternal redemption.
Assist with their relationship with the church. Offer to coordinate meals from fellow believers, help them connect to the livestream of worship services and Bible classes, or arrange for others to visit them, perhaps bringing them yourself. Visiting the Sick “Miserable comforters are you all,” said Job to his friends, and sometimes we are too. When visiting the sick we must guard our tongues. Many patients have had to endure well meaning visitors describing horrible tragedies of people who have had the same procedure as the patient, died after undergoing the same treatment, or di ed through neglect of the hospital. We should not compare medical war stories. We may make a patie nt fearful and even im pede their recovery by our “comforting words.” When we visit the sick, we should make our visits brief and speak softly. We should not overwhelm the patient with many vi sitors at once but wait if ther e are several others already in the room. If there are other sick people in the room, we should be cons iderate of them. We should listen to the patient and offer words of comfort. We must not depress them One doctor noted that we “should not reveal negative emotional reactions through voice, countenance or manner. The patient may want to show his wound or a bottle of gallstones. Sometimes the patient may be in a pitiful condition, or the odor in the room may be so disagreeable as to make the vi sit an unpleasant task. Remember th at the patient, if conscious, is humiliated about his own condition and aware of the burden he is placing on others” (Wayne Emmons). Visiting the Bereaved Most of us have great difficulty when visiting the bereaved at their home or th e funeral home. After all, so great a tragedy has taken place, what can we do? We feel helpless when trying to comfort the bereaved. We must first remember to help the living. We should show our br ethren that we are concerned about them. We can show our concern by visiti ng them, but also taking food to the family, washing clothes, preparing the clothes for the fa mily to wear to the funeral, helping with children, and other needful things. We must also be mindful of our words. We must remember th at no word or phrase will completely calm the mourner. Note some phrases intended for comfort that can sometimes hurt: “Time heals all wounds .” Who wants to forget their love d one who has died? Of course, things will get easier in time, but now it is not comforting. “After a while you will forget.” Again, who wants to forget their loved ones? “He/She would have wanted you to…” No one knows what a person would have truly wanted at such a time. It is an empty and speculative phrase. “What a great loss you have suffered.” Pretty obvious statement. (Unborn child) “At least it happened before the baby was born.” (Someone really said to a friend of mine.) The parents build a bond with a child even before the child is born. It is no easier to lose a child in the first few months than it is after the child is born. “God wanted another angel (or wanted Him more)” We do not become angels; they are specially created beings. This can make people angry with God since th ey wanted the loved one also. Again, it’s a completely unbiblical concept. Perhaps the best thing that we can do during the time of grief is to say nothing. A warm hug and a sympathetic ear are often the best comfort we can provide. It is good to recall the deeds and the personal memories of the deceased. It can comfort the living to know that their loved one meant so much to others. “Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” –Matthew 25:44-46

1. How can we love our brethren in word but not in deed?
1. What do you think keeps some Christians from being more involved with their brethren, especially in a time of need?
1. What is the true meaning of the word “visit” as used in the New Testament?
1. What can we do to help us be more diligent in visiting the sick and others in need?
1. What is the magic phrase of comfort that will instantly comfort all bereaved people? If there is no magic phrase, what can we do to comfort the bereaved?