Lesson 13: What Do We Do When We Disagree?

What Do We Do

When We Disagree? It is inevitable, as we study the scriptures, to find areas of disagreement with others. Our background, educational level, and preconceptions affect how we understand the scriptures. This does not mean that truth will be different for each person. It does mean is that we must subject our beliefs to the crucible of opposition to burn off the preconceptions and bias that we bring to the Bible so we may gain a clearer understanding of the Word. When we discuss spiritual matters with others, we may hear questions that we have not heard, perspectives that we have not seen, and ideas that we have not considered. Through opposition, we challenge ourselves to dig deeper into God’s word to make sure we understand what we believe. Often we find that our beliefs might need minor or major modifications. Sometimes we find that we learn more about the Bible and become better at defending what we practice. Sad is the person who will fall back on “My preacher says,” “This is the way we’ve always done it,” or “Well, this is just what I believe.” As taught in the previous chapter, we must continually examine our life and doctrine in the light of God’s word. Though opposition must come, we must address it properly. Paul told Timothy, ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will,” 2 Timothy 2:23-26. When dealing with opposition, we must not engage in arguments over foolish and speculative issues. These discussions generate strife, anger, and sometimes division. We must exercise wisdom in recognizing these disputes so we can avoid them. However, we must not call something an ignorant dispute just because we do not want to discuss it. The Lord’s servant must be gentle to all. He gave no exceptions. Some will be gentle with those whom they love and those they want to impress. They can be arrogant and nasty with those they do not like, against whom they hold a grudge, or those whose religious background is different. We must be gentle with those who oppose us for they are in peril of being lost. The Lord’s servant must be able to teach. Proverbs 15:28 tells us that

“The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” All Christians must be able to teach someone how to become a Christian. We have an obligation to share the truth with others so they can become God’s children. If we are uncomfortable with this, we need to get the skills and knowledge to help us in this endeavor. The Lord’s servant must be patient. When answering opposition, we can sometimes get frustrated when someone cannot see the “plain truth” on the issue. We must remember that they may have biases that they have not faced which is skewing their understanding of the scripture. Perhaps we do not know what we are teaching clearly or our biases are preventing us from teaching the way of God more accurately. We must be patient for sometimes much has to be unlearned before real learning can take place. The Lord’s servant must correct others in humility. The goal is not to win the argument and certainly not to embarrass the opposition. The goal is to lead others away from the devil to Jesus through God’s word. Paul says that they need to “come to their senses.” For whatever reason, they are not thinking clearly and so we must be humble in teaching them. Our humility is also grounded in the knowledge that we may be wrong about a particular issue and so must be ready to change if that is the case. We must have a mutual respect for people and the truth. We must not withhold the truth in order to spare someone’s feelings. Neither should we hurt someone’s feelings just because we think we have the truth. We must show respect even as we differ with them. Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15); love for the truth and the soul of others. In the church, we must especially be humble and longsuffering with one another, Ephesians 4:1. We must not rush to judgment and should seek to understand our brother. Many are quick to say “false teacher” before a matter has been fully discussed. However, some matters of difference may be so strong that we must part. This must be a last, final, drastic measure when all other options have been exhausted. It a doctor wants to amputate one of my arms or legs, I want to make sure that he has considered every other option before proceeding with such a drastic treatment. Likewise, if the Lord’s body must be severed, it must be for something clearly taught in scripture and no other option besides division must exist. Before brethren part they should ask several questions:

“Is it a matter of opinion?” If it is, then it is not a matter that should divide us. Let each one respect his brother’s opinion (Romans 14:1-3 – We will discuss Romans 14 in more detail in the next series). In opinions, we must have liberty.

“Could one stop an ‘expedient’ and bring peace?” An expedient must be lawful and it must edify. If its lawfulness is questionable, or doubtful, it should not be introduced. When some press for its introduction,

Restoration Ideal

it causes contention among those who rightly demand scriptural authority. Though one might the practice is acceptable to God, if it will divide the church it should not be introduced. We are to build up the church, not tear it apart.

“Am I being stubborn?” This is a tough question to ask. I may think I am standing firm on the word but, in actuality, I may be stubbornly holding a tradition. If it is a matter of opinion, I must not press my opinion so that it minimizes the opinion of others. I must be willing to yield when there is a need to yield, James 3:17.

“Is a personality conflict in play?” I fear for many who will have to stand in judgment and answer for strife and division caused in churches because of personality conflicts. We come from different societal, educational, financial, and racial backgrounds. We must learn to live together in Christ for we are all one in Christ, Galatians 3:28. I cannot hate my brother and consider myself in good standing with God, 1 John 2:9-11. Consider well the admonition of Paul,

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,” Philippians 2:3-5.

Questions for Discussion & Study

1. Why does discussing the Bible with those who disagree with us strengthen our faith?

2. How is an arrogant or argumentative approach to Bible discussions inconsistent with the Christian life?

3. Why do you think some people are willing to allow churches to divide over non-scriptural matters?