Christians and Depression | Bible Study Notes

Experience
Depression is a shadowy enemy for many Christian men
Not often discussed with other men
Not often discussed with doctors
There is a false perception that if you are depressed you’re weak
There is a false perception that if you are depressed you are a whiner
There is a false impression that if you are depressed you have a lack of faith
Archibald Hart, in Unmasking Male Depression, noted: For the religious there is a danger to blame depression on a lack of faith or God’s displeasure. “Depression, not God, makes you feel distant from God, as if He has interposed a thick ceiling between you and Him”
A psychology student who is a Christian noted, “” I completely agree that God has given us wonderful medications that can help those who are in need! Many times I have seen people feel that they have a lack of faith when they take a medication that can help them through their healing process!”
The more we stay quiet about its damaging influence in the lives of Christian men, their families, and its effects on the local congregation, the greater the opportunity for suffering and problems that could be avoided
There are famous people who have wrestled with depression
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin has spoken publicly about his struggles with depression and addiction
Actor Harrison Ford has discussed it
Football great Terry Bradshaw has discussed his struggles with depression
Actor Marlon Brando who has portrayed tough characters wrestles with it
Abraham Lincoln frequently struggled with depression
Baseball legend Ty Cobb fought it
Winston Churchill called depression his “black dog” that followed him around
The well-known Baptist writer Charles Spurgeon, suffered from depression, said that depression was not a judgment for sin but occurred when one was neglecting himself, sick, stressed out, lacking good rest and sleep, sedentary, a “leader of men,” or sometimes for no apparent reason at all. “Causeless depression,” he said, “is not to be reasoned with…You might as well fight with the mist as with this shapeless, indefinable, yet all beclouding hopelessness.”
These are all famous men who accomplished a lot in their lives but admitted they had depression and fought it all of their lives.
Depression definition
We are not talking about having a bad day or episodic depression due to a traumatic event such as the loss of a loved one, lost job, financial setback, or life crisis.
Depression is the natural reaction to these events as we process what is happening and determine a course of action
When the crisis has been averted or the grieving process has run its course, the depression fades and we resume normal life.
Clinical depression has certain characteristics:
Depression is generally diagnosed when most of the following symptoms have been present every day for at least two weeks, according to the National Institute of Mental Health:
Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood
Diminished ability to enjoy activities that were once enjoyable
Restlessness or irritability
Changes in appetite
Insomnia, early morning wakening, or excessive sleepiness
Decreased energy level
Slowed movements
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
Recurrent thoughts of death or that life is not worth living
Depression is complex in that it has various causes and degrees of manifestation
It could be primarily physical, a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected
It could be primarily emotional or situational
It could be a combination of physical and life events
It can be mild or severe—and annoyance or debilitating
Hart: “Signs of male depression often involve getting little pleasure from anything, problems feeling love or giving love, grumpiness, moodiness, irritability, sulking, overt anger, anxiety, agitation, and preoccupation with work. Symptoms include thought process changes (pessimistic, negative thinking accompanied by rumination, exaggerated emphasis on negative traits, considering oneself and/or work meaningless), mood changes (emptiness, poor self-esteem, anger, withdrawal), behavior changes (drop in energy and activity, slow moving and speaking, neglected responsibilities, staying in bed, lack of drive for hobbies, sex, or other activities), and somatic changes (fatigue, pain, sleep and appetite disturbances, and other vague physical complaints).”
In all cases, it is treatable and can be managed: sometimes medication might be needed or life adjustments might make the needed corrections.
Faulty treatments
Sadly, male depression is often undiagnosed and we tend to focus on the symptoms or the attempts at self-medication, often sinful actions, instead of the root cause
Hart: “Male depression is better diagnosed by behaviors whereas female depression is exhibited in feelings. Men often feel like they must hide depression in order to appear strong and manly—depression seems like a feminine weakness. Depression often manifests itself in alcoholism, substance abuse, work addiction, emotional and social withdrawal, outbursts of anger, and sexual addiction. More men commit suicide than women. Men have more escapes from depression, women have better support networks.”
Hart: Some depressed men self-medicate through “Addiction – self-medication for depression through chemical abuse or process addictions like sex, gambling, workaholism, thrill seeking, even religion can create depressive states because of guilt associated with the escape (i.e., one could treat depression with improper sexual activity and, because he violated his moral principles, induce depression because of the guilt and shame associated with the activity and self-recrimination for being a “bad person.” The activity can lead to obsession which intensifies the feelings of shame and guilt. The activity can also induce other escapes, such as work addiction to prove that one has worth to overcome self-vilification and reproach. It becomes a vicious circle. Sexual addictions, in particular, result from emotional pain.”
Drew Pinsky (who works with addiction patients): “It’s why so many people complain about depression, or insist they just don’t feel good. Lacking adequate attachments, they feel empty. They try to feel better by grasping at the solutions the culture offers, only to find that those solutions turn into the problem; then they get caught up in a continued need for arousal, to escape the emptiness. And even when the evidence of a problem becomes overwhelming, the human capacity for denial can hamper any individual’s chances of jumping off the treadmill of addiction.”
Depression triggers
Proverbs 12:25 – Anxiety causes depression
Our hearts can be in turmoil over fear of the unknown and uncertainty. Many are depressed in the face of great decisions not knowing the implications of their decisions on future events.
Indecision leads to deeper despair. We suffer anxiety for what may happen tomorrow.
We will be depressed when there is a great gulf between what we feel we should be doing and what we are actually doing.
Someone who knows they need to obey the gospel will often suffer inner turmoil because they know what to do but are resisting.
Psalm 32:1-4
Psalm 38:1-8
Archibald Hart: Unmasking Male Depression
Necessary losses men must face that may lead to depression:
Decline in sexual prowess as one ages can lead to low sexual esteem. Developing a relationship with one’s spouse can enhance satisfaction and help one cope with the change.
Disappointment of unfulfilled dreams: grieve for the loss, let them go, and develop new dreams for the remainder of life.
Failure/success dilemma: more failure than success can lead to depression and burnout. Poor choices or unfortunate circumstances can bring failure. Define priorities and personal description of success, realize character traits built through failure leading to personal growth, and be persistent.
Reality of marriage versus the fantasy: marriage is hard work despite the media portrayal of the “right” marriage. Sometimes one must sacrifice personal happiness to fulfill their promise to “love and cherish.”
Reality of sex versus the fantasy: men’s confusion about the sexuality of women due to ignorance can cause dissatisfaction. Sexual frequency and performance expectations may be distorted. Better to focus on the relationship to enhance meaning and fulfillment through sexual relationships.
Disappointment of children – children do not often achieve the dreams we had for them. Some people crumble when their children become wayward. Parents must continue to pray for their children and let them go. Grieve for the lost dreams and the expectation that they would fit into a certain mold. Let go of the loss.
Vocational disappointment – Disillusionment with life’s work. Unfulfilling and unsatisfying work can affect men’s self-esteem for the worse. Changing careers does not often heal the problem. Every job loses its luster in time or becomes less challenging and exciting. Look outside of vocation for life’s meaning.
Relational disappointment – few or no deep friendships with other men; many superficial relationships but alienation from former friends and/or coworkers.
Often depression does not come from something lost (through death, circumstances…) but our failure to let it go. We must grieve our loss and let the object go. If we are overattached to our reputation, security, things, or people who respect you, we are likely to suffer reactive depression. We must lose them (become underattached not detached) to find ourselves and be content with God.
Effective Treatment
Medication
You might need medication. Not all medication will make you feel strange, listless, like a zombie, or crazy
If you do have strange symptoms, ask the doctor to change your medication. There are so many medications available and you may have to go through several to get something that works. I did.
Lifestyle adjustments
Health eating
Maintain a healthy weight (biological chemicals optimized)
Exercise is extremely important – forget weight loss, do it for life gain
Adequate sleep – see what you can cut out of your life to give you time to sleep
Regular doctor’s checkup – peace of mind and body maintenance (just like the car)
Social adjustments
Meaningful relationships
Drew Pinsky: “…We define ourselves by the way we relate to other people. We get deep, lasting, and meaningful satisfaction from giving selflessly to, and being present with, others. We develop trust. We feel better about ourselves and the world. This is what we’ve forgotten: Our decisions should be made on the basis of what’s most healthy, not what will satisfy me the quickest. Live with integrity and a clear sense of right and wrong. Consider consequences. Listen to the inner voice of your instinct as carefully as a doctor checks your heartbeat. This is what I wish we all knew to do.”
Meaningful male relationships
Isolation is the best ally of our enemy.
Doubling down on being friends with the wife will never substitute for this
We need men who will keep us accountable, discuss problems from a male perspective, and just share joys of life that men enjoy
Deal with the problems in your life head-on
Have the difficult conversations with your spouse, kids, brethren, boss, co-workers about the matters that need to be addressed and/or resolved.
Stand up for yourself and defend others
Be genuine in how you act around others and accept yourself
Devote some time to a hobby or interest
It is important…make time for it as it helps your peace of mind
Work on developing financial contentment (1 Timothy 6:6-10; Hebrews 13:5-6)
Confront any issues in life that are causing you anxiety and pain: Anthony Robbins says, “The path of comfort is the path of pain.”
Break destructive patterns in your life that are keeping you in a cycle of despondency
Is political talk radio or constant news creating anxiety and stress?
Are Facebook, Twitter, and other constant interruptions creating stress?
Schedule “quiet” time with no Internet, social media, texting, phone, etc.
Design a compelling future, a vision, of how you want to live and what will get you there.
Realize that you are not a victim
You cannot choose all that happens in your life but you can choose how you will react to it and how much it impacts you negatively.
Much of what you are experiencing in your life is a direct result of choices you have made.
Jack Canfield: “If you want to create the life of your dreams, then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life as well. That means giving up all your excuses, all your victim stories, all the reasons why you can’t and why you haven’t up until now, and all your blaming of outside circumstances. You have to give them all up forever. …You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired result. For whatever reason—ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be right, the need to feel safe—you chose not to exercise that power. Who knows why? It doesn’t matter. The past is the past. All that matters now is that from this point forward you choose—that’s right, it’s a choice—you choose to act as if (that’s all that’s required—to act as if ) you are 100% responsible for everything that does or doesn’t happen to you.”
Jack Canfield: “To be powerful, you need to take the position that you create or allow everything that happens to you. By create, I mean that you directly cause something to happen by your actions or inactions. Realize that you are not the victim here. You stood passively by and let it happen. You didn’t say anything, make a demand, make a request, say no, try something new, or leave.
You are the one who ate the junk food.
You are the one who didn’t say no!
You are the one who took the job.
You are the one who stayed in the job.
You are the one who chose to believe them.
You are the one who ignored your intuition.
You are the one who abandoned your dream.
You are the one who bought it.
You are the one who didn’t take care of it.
You are the one who decided you had to do it alone.
You are the one who trusted him.
You are the one who said yes to the dogs.
Spiritual adjustments
Trust in God, not in your own strength
Eph 6:10 – be strong in the Lord…
Psalm 142:1-7
Develop close brotherly relationships beyond the service times and church building
Cast your cares on God and leave them there
1 Peter 5:6-7
Philippians 4:4-7
Example from the life of Elijah
1 Kings 19
He found shelter in a place where God’s presence was felt (Mt. Horeb)
He listened to the quiet words of God
God provided food for him
God allowed him to rest
God put him to work: Anoint Elisha, Hazael (Syria), Jehu (Israel)
Recognize God’s care and justice: Ahab and Jezebel would be punished
Received comfort from God (maybe not a rebuke): you are not alone
In response to his initial cry of despondency he found that he was not alone and his work was not in vain.
Overcoming and managing depression is the best thing you can do for your spouse, kids, and those in your world. It is important that you make the time to do what you need to do to maintain yourself so you can be with and be there for the people who mean the most in your life.
Steve’s Story
End with Randy’s Story