Love for A Lifetime

I. Introduction:

II. Text:

III. Good home must be built on a godly foundation

A. The home is a product of God’s wisdom

B. Genesis 2:18-15 – Need for companionship and coworker

C. Together they become “one flesh”

D. A new creation made by choice and elevated over the relationship to one’s parents No one should destroy this union that is joined together by God

E. God’s word provides wisdom for building the home

F. Proverbs 24:3-4

G. It should be planned, built, and furnished from lessons taught by God

H. Wisdom

I. Applying knowledge gained from God’s word to everyday situation Viewing things from a heavenly perspective

J. Understanding

K. Perceiving what is important and necessary—the big picture“Choosing one’s fights” is an example of building with understanding

L. Knowledge

M. Information given by the inspiration of God for our use Bible teaches us about dating, love, parenting, conflict resolution, living with purpose, etc. Everything pertaining to life and godliness is in His word and every part of our life should be furnished with the principles instilled by God

N. Since God is love, we should expect that God can teach us how to love

IV. Selfless

A. God so loved us that He gave His Son for us

B. John 3:161 John 4:7-11 – God demonstrates love

C. Priority of the spouse

D. Philippians 2:3-4: If we should “esteem others better than self” for brethren, how much more for one’s spouse—especially if our spouse is a Christian

E. Our concern should be for the things that our spouse needs—not constant focus on our own needs, and especially what needs are not being met Regarding this, however, it is important to communicate with our spouse about our needs so they can have opportunity to satisfy those needs.

F. Having this love means you will not seek selfish desires over the spouse

G. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way…” Being faithful to your spouse is the ultimate display of selflessness because you forsake the pleasure (which is temporary and empty) another person could provide because you are dedicated to your spouse You will keep your work and recreation in proper perspective, not allowing them to hinder you from your duties within the home.

H. Selflessness in action

I. Ephesians 5:28-29 – Husbands should demonstrate love and sacrifice for their wives as they do for their own bodies—sacrificing to make sure their needs are met (1 Timothy 5:8) Titus 2:4-5 – Wives are to demonstrate love and sacrifice in their attitude, behavior, and home responsibilities.1 Corinthians 7:1-5 – in the physical relationship Couples should willingly sacrifice for their spouse in all areas of their lives and not take advantage of the selflessness of their spouse towards them.

J. Husbands and wives are to experience the joy of serving one another and enjoy the demonstration of love as their spouse serves them.

V. Accepting

A. God’s example

B. Romans 5:8 - God loved us while we were sinners, He didn’t wait for us to earn His love God accepts us even though we are imperfect beings

C. Husbands and wives must accept one another

D. “You do not have to earn me, achieve or perform to earn my love. Nothing you can do can turn me off. I take you, warts and all. You have my support. Like me, you are imperfect, but I choose to work together with you, and will never publicly criticize or embarrass you. My constant love and affection will always be towards you.”11 Corinthians 13:4 – “Love is patient and kind.” The most dangerous thing we can do is to expect perfection from our spouse—a standard we cannot even expect from ourselves.

E. Accepting our spouse also means freely forgiving them.

F. Not “burying the hatchet but leaving the handle sticking out”1 Corinthians 13:6 – Love does not rejoice with wrongdoing; some version, love keeps no count of wrongs. The best way to an unsatisfying marriage is to expect perfection from your spouse when you can’t expect it of yourself and to be unforgiving when they do not live up to the unattainable ideal.

VI. Edifying

A. God’s word provides instruction and exhortation to holy living

B. Although God loved us while we were sinners he commands us to become holy1 Peter 1:13-15; 2:11-12

C. Husbands and wives should make one another better people

D. Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 17:1 – A house full of encouragement is more pleasing than one of strife

E. Speaking uplifting words (Ephesians 4:31-32) to build stronger character

F. Encouraging good self-esteem

G. Song 1:5-6; 15-2:2 – note his correction of her self-conscious response Her praise of him: Song 2:3-4

H. Not constant criticisms

I. Proverbs 25:24 – corner of a rooftop preferred to house with quarrelsome wife“I’m not criticizing my spouse, I’m helping my spouse” might be your attitude but not how it is received by your spouse. Proverbs 14:1 – Wise woman builds here house with wisdom However, we must be honest with our spouse when they need correction Read through Proverbs about how to correct others and how words fitly spoken are beautiful to the hearer. (Proverbs 16:20-24)

VII. Unfailing

A. According to 1 Corinthians 13:8, love never ends.

B. God’s love for us should never be in question as He has promised us His eternal love Because of His love for us, we have confidence and comfort in our relationship with Him.

C. A spouse must be able to trust in the abiding nature of the other spouse’s love

D. Romans 7:2 – bound together for life

E. A marriage in which the spouses can threaten to leave on another every time there is an argument are building on an unstable foundation

F. Marriage permanence is not God’s ideal it is God’s command Spouses should view marriage as the bond which should not be torn apart and not entertain the idea of leaving or divorcing unless adultery enters the picture. When spouses fully embrace the unfailing nature of love and total commitment of marriage, they create the safe place for being vulnerable and transparent

G. When spouses fully embrace the unfailing nature of love and total commitment of marriage, they will face problems, turmoil, and temptations as a team.

H. When spouses fully embrace the unfailing nature of love and total commitment of marriage, they realize that love is not defined by or centered around emotion

I. Love is commanded (Ephesians 5:25) and can be taught (Titus 2:4) Emotions will be stronger and weaker at times but commitment should be constant

VIII. Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 – Enjoy life with your spouse

A. Our time on earth is short and life is vain but we can enjoy the simple life with our family

B. Life spent in bitterness, anger, wrath, and indifference

IX. -------------------------

A. 1 Harkrider, Robert. Building Strong Homes. Impressive Image Production: Russellville, AL (1997). P. 4.