Provocation

I. Introduction

A. In our lives we bring out the best or worst in others. We can stir up, or provide, others to good things or discourage them

II. With our Children

A. Passages

1. Ephesians 6:4 – do not provoke them to wrath
2. Colossians 3:21 – do not discourage them

B. Provoking them to wrath

1. Constant nagging and criticism
2. Unfair or inconsistent punishment
3. Ignoring their requests or being negligent about their presence and needs
4. Lack of discipline
5. Being untrustworthy

C. Good provocation

1. Reasoned discipline
2. Active interest in their lives and what is important to them
3. Active spiritual training
   • Making sure their Bible lessons are complete
   • Having spiritual discussions with them and praying with them
   • Teaching them to be reverent in the worship assemblies
4. Celebrating achievements together
5. Keeping your word
6. Meaningful praise

D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

E. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

F. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

G. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

H. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

I. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

J. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

K. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

L. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

M. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

N. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

O. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

P. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

Q. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

R. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

S. If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

T. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

U. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

V. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

W. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

X. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

Y. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

Z. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

A. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

B. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

C. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

D. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

E. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

F. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

G. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

H. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

I. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

J. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

K. If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

L. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

M. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

N. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. Poem: Dorothy Law Nolte

III. In our marriage relationships

A. Colossians 3:18-19

B. The husband and the wife must act in ways that do not constantly stir up anger in the other spouse.

C. Proverbs 11:29 – trouble the house and reap a whirlwind

D. As with the children, they should build up one another and create growth

IV. In the church

A. Being a church necessitates our involvement with one another and in those relationships we can provoke one another to anger or stir one another to good works.

B. Do not provoke one another to anger or discourage others

1. Proverbs 10:12 – stir up hatred or promote love
2. 1 Corinthian 13:5 – love is not provoked nor does it provoke
3. Do not insult
   • Some will turn to insults when their pride has been hurt or they are in danger of humiliation—both matters of pride
   • Proverbs 12:18 – words like piercing sword
   • Titus 3:2 – Speak evil of no one and live peaceably
4. Often this means resolving conflicts that arise instead of keeping anger to ourselves (no cease fire: no peace with one another, but they are not going to attack one another—for now)
5. Unresolved conflict or tension can be destructive. Like an earthquake
   • As in an earthquake, deeper tensions cause the surface damage.
   • If the disputants would resolve the tension, they could avoid destruction.
   • While preparing to get into the new building, many opportunities will arise for people to get their feelings hurt, be displeased with the attitudes or decisions of others, or otherwise unhappy.

We need to consciously resolve conflicts and tensions before they create problems among us.

We must also be conscious of how our words and attitudes, no matter how good our intention, may be perceived by others and act in a way that does not provoke others negatively.

Romans 12:18 – live peaceably with all men

1. Paul warns the Galatians against consuming one another, Galatians 5:15.

C. Hebrews 10:24-25: Provoke one another to love and good works

1. We must actively seek opportunities to build up one another and be diligent to assemble with one another as it is a forum in which we can stir one another up.
2. Each of us, from the oldest to the youngest, can be a catalyst of good works
3. We must “consider how” to do this with one another and with the group with our words and deeds.
4. 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
5. Ben Sweetland: “We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.”