The Father—the Family Shepherd

I. Introduction: Regardless of how the world characterizes the role of the father, the scripture is clear about his role within the family. Much of his responsibility is directed at shepherding the family—he must feed, lead, and care for his family. This morning we will discuss this role of the father.

[!NOTE] Primary Scripture Reading: Proverbs 4:1-9

II. He must lead as a shepherd

A. God appointed the father as the leader of the family

B. Ephesians 5:22-24

C. It is not a matter of superiority, but of rank

D. A home may only have one person in charge.

E. The wife and children must submit to this God established order

F. It glorifies God Without this order, the home will be in chaosA Jewish proverb says, “Pity the home where everyone is the head.” It takes humility for the wife and the children to submit to the husband and father and he must exercise proper oversight1 Peter 3:1-2 – godliness can win an unbelieving husband

G. The father cannot discharge this responsibility to his wife

III. He must discipline his children

A. As a shepherd uses his rod and staff to keep sheep on the path, the father must keep his children on the path

B. Ephesians 6:4

C. Discipline out of love with a goal of winning that child for Jesus Use discipline to shape the heart of the child, not just direct his actions

D. Colossians 3:21 – The father must not break the child’s spirit

E. Do not “provoke” – do not incite to anger; don’t pick a fight Discipline should be used to direct the child and teach him self-discipline

IV. He must nourish his family

A. Psalm 23:2 – “He makes me to lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside the still waters.”

B. Physically

C. 1 Timothy 5:8 – To not provide for one’s family is to deny the faith Providing for the physical needs of the children does not mean neglecting them so you can buy the finest things—you and your children will suffer. The father should not deny his children things they need in order to buy things that he wants (bigger toys, etc.)

D. Mentally

E. By spending time with them, the father proves his children’s worth“Can’t you see the Creator of the universe, who understands every secret, every mystery … sitting patiently and listening to a four-year-old talk to him? That’s a beautiful image of a father.” James Dobson

F. Spiritually

G. The most important gift a father can give a child is faith. The father of Proverbs 4 directs his child to pursue wisdom as a guide. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 – godly teaching should permeate the house It is not enough to bring the children to Bible classes—the father must teach them at home and be a good example of justice, equity, and righteousness There is a story of an farmer, indifferent to religion, whose wife and children attended a particular church. The man came to the preacher one Sunday morning and asked to be baptized before the class began. The preacher, who had been rebuffed by the man in the past asked why there was such a rush now. The man had been walking in the fields that morning when he heard his young boy cry out, “Wait dad, I am trying to hit every step.” He looked behind and the young lad was jumping from footprint to footprint in the morning dew. The man realized that if this boy was going to follow his steps, they had better lead to heaven.

V. He must protect his family

A. A father must not be abusive to his children.

B. Chart on statistics from New England When a child cannot be safe at home, the foundation of his life is shattered The father must provide a safe haven where the child can share his dreams without being told that they cannot be fulfilled, love without embarrassment, challenge authority yet learn obedience, and learn respect for one’s spouse. The father who insults, ridicules, and belittles his children teaches his children to be obnoxious, rude, cynical, and petty for he has treated them as if they were worthless and they accepted his assessment.

C. Must be willing to lay down his life to save the family

D. Some fathers expect the family to make all of the sacrifices for his comfort He must not be selfish in the little things for it would show an unwillingness to give up the most precious thing—his life—for his family The godly father is a sacrificial father—ready to yield even his life to save his family

VI. He must release his children

A. The goal of parenting is to equip the child to be independent, self-supporting, and godly.

B. Some parents cannot let go of their children and even try to exercise control over adult married children. Just as the man and woman are to leave father and mother, so father and mother must leave the children to make their own decisions.

C. The father must be able to let of the child to walk on his own though the child may stumble and fall on occasion.

D. Ultimately, the father commends his child into the hands of God and prays that his guidance will have directed the child toward godly service and eternal life.

VII. The Father: The Shepherd of the Family